Best to be like water,
Which benefits the ten thousand things
And does not contend.
It pools where humans disdain to dwell,
Close to the Tao.

Live in a good place.
Keep your mind deep.
Treat others well.
Stand by your word.
Keep good order.
Do the right thing.
Work when it’s time.

Only do not contend,
And you will not go wrong.

~ Lao Tzu

Be like water.

Do, or do not.

It’s been said a thousand ways by a thousand faces; from Yoda to Pooh, and Jesus too. If there is a mystic who didn’t… he (or she) probably isn’t.

For many years I’ve lived with that verse of the Tao t’Ching as a guiding constellation and held it before me as a shield against those who thought I was taking poor care of myself.

Emulating water has gifted me a life that was unimaginable to the version of me that took a knife to his own throat. These extra years have been filled with miraculous impossibility, adventure, and epic romance.

On the flip side, it has encouraged passivity, a seeming(?) lack of ambition, a certain level of self-ignorance, and what I’ve been told is called “spiritual bypassing.”

Some of those labels were worn with pride until a friend helped me realize that how I was living was, in fact, too easy to be that narrow path that so few enter. It’s actually the easiest thing in the world to live like a monk aesthetically (as opposed to ascetically, though I did that, too).

And so, I’ve been learning to burn like water.

That is to say, I have been learning to transform myself into someone for whom the path of least resistance – non-contending – looks very different… and so can you.

Burn Like Water

I’ve been doing gymnastics rings four days a week for the last couple of months.

This is not all that impressive.

And yet it feels impressive.

I am spending more and more time in the air.

As soon as my feet touch the ground my body yearns to lift us back into the air, even if I am physically incapable of going further.

What started as a two-to-three-exercise routine has escalated to a two-to-three-hour circuit that has expanded to include the Gada and animal movements/flow.

I purchased the rings over a year ago, and I’ve tried to push them many times to no avail. I might be ‘on it’ for a week, but it was never sustained.

All my life I’ve been one of those guys who exercised on and mostly off without ever getting anywhere. I’ve ‘done’ calisthenics for many years. I’ve had personal trainers and survived faddish exercise programs like P90x.

I didn’t know what it was like to rejoice in the movement and the only part of the process I enjoyed was the cheap dopamine I got when I told people I worked out. (And barbell squats.)

Now I laugh with every new level-up.

I can’t help but smile when I lizard crawl.

And I dance between sets.

The difference is that before I was contending, and now?

Strengthening Bones

The sage rules by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.

~ Lao Tzu

The game is rigged and we all know it.

But what chains us to the ground is not our parents or our past or ‘the man’ or ‘capitalism’ or any other exterior force no matter how far-reaching their illusory power may seem.

Our wings are clipped by our own thoughts.

This isn’t a revolutionary thing to say.

You’ve heard this a thousand times before and so had I!

And yet I was leaving power on the table, and so, likely, are you.

I’ve long internalized the thought that I am not a physical person and I don’t enjoy physical activity.

This was a falsehood, but my experience mirrored it, thanks to poisonous thoughts that were there to make sure reality didn’t get in the way of the illusion.

We hate every fucking second of this.

We hate every fucking second of this.

Of course changing behavior was never sustainable when that was playing on my internal radio!

But what if we loved every second of it?

What if we weren’t working, but playing?

What if our muscles were not screaming, but singing?

What if it wasn’t boring, but the best part of our day?

What if we don’t look goofy, but are in fact dancing spiritedly at the level we’re at?

And who says physicality should be strenuous in the first place?

And what if the difference between any two realities is just a thought away?

Change Your Mind Before Behavior

Windows and doors are cut to make a room.

The room’s use comes from emptiness.

~ Lao Tzu

Or to be more accurate, brainwash yourself.

It’s nothing new.

Gurus have preached this stuff for centuries. If it isn’t more mainstream it’s only because you can’t sell people the power they already have.

I have nothing new to add to the discussion on this. There’s a wealth of lore from the mystical to the secular that goes back thousands of years.

… But for those in the dark, our outer world reflects our inner world.

For example, if you think you look like the ass-end of a platypus that will influence your emotions and behavior which in turn perpetuates a reality where Quasimodo pities you.

You may not take care of your health, hygiene, or appearance.

You may act from excessive insecurity or resentment.

You may move in negativity or inauthenticity.

Your ego will highlight things in your life that confirm your ugliness, ignore those that don’t.

You may attract or even seek out friends and romantic partners who confirm this self-perception through abuse, neglect, and infidelity.

You may even reject those few who recognize the beauty beneath the facade.

And it certainly doesn’t help to have the jukebox in your mind play Creep on repeat.

I took a page from many who came before me and spent a month to a month and a half writing out the life experience that I wanted.

I refined these visions. Recorded them. Listened to them.

I became more proactive in consciously directing and tweaking my thoughts.

As above so below, as the inner world transforms so too must your outer world. And before I knew it, push-ups were giving me sexual pleasure.

I kid… But not entirely.

From Thought to Action

This is where I feel as though I have something new to add to the discussion… especially when it comes to movement and exercise… and that is-

Follow what feels good.

I hated most of the fundamental ring exercises that build the foundation of the more advanced feats of strength and endurance.

So I focused on pull-ups, because those are fun.

I knew I enjoyed push-ups so I did those too.

And for that first week, that’s what I did.

It took effort, but it was not effortful because I enjoyed it.

On day one I did three sets of one pull-up. Day four I did three sets of three. I did push-ups throughout the day with the goal of doing one hundred a day.

It is easy to believe my bullshit when doing things I already know I like doing, and so the hype and motivation snowballed into progress.

My reality reflected my new positive thoughts. All together this was creating a positive feedback loop and I found myself excited to add on more exercises.

And so I did, but I was still choosing to only follow what felt good.

Hangs? Dips? Hate ’em, they make me nauseous.

Skin the Cat? That’s kind of fun. Let’s keep doing it.

The positive feedback loop intensified and I found myself thinking… maybe I could enjoy these other ancillary exercises… or at least stomach them so that I can get better at the main courses.

Hangs? I don’t enjoy them in the way I enjoy my feet bouncing slightly on a pull-up when held perpendicular to my torso… but I do get something out of them now.

And I recently unlocked unassisted ring dips.

Funnily enough, following what feels good expands the range of what can feel good.

Best to Be Like Water

Can you balance your life force
And embrace the One
Without separation?

Can you brighten
The four directions
Without action?

~ Lao Tzu

Every so often I reread certain texts – such as the Tao – and it amazes me the new things I find in the same old words I’ve read a hundred times before.

Since I’ve discovered this secret – that we can consciously direct what becomes the path of least resistance in our own lives – it seems that I see it reflected all around me from the wisdom of all ages to the beasts of the field.

There are two heat-of-the-moment feats of physicality I’ve performed in the past week that I feel proud of.

120 pull-ups in forty minutes. (My goal was 180 in an hour.)

100 push-ups in fifteen minutes. (My goal was 100 in ten.)

Two months ago I could barely do a pull-up. My push-up sets were weak and inconsistent.

And though looking back it appears as though I’ve been working hard… it didn’t feel hard. It didn’t feel like I was doing anything other than going with the flow. No part of this has been a grind. I’ve loved every second of it and I am ready to go all in on physical training.

Right now I am excited.

Tomorrow I want to try for ten minutes again.

I want to double down on my discovery that I can do a helluva lot more pull-ups if I go for low reps EMOM rather than pushing to failure for three sets and see what the long-term result of that is.

And all of this navel-gazing is to say – hey, you people out there – you can transform your experience of reality too and in so doing change can be sustainable, even if it never has been before.

Just be like water.