Semen retention is a beautiful practice—one with the potential to enhance every area of a man’s life: material, spiritual, and, yes, sexual.

All spiritual traditions of consequence recognize this, though they may speak in symbols. From the Daoist Golden Age – where “all men lived in harmony with nature and transmuted their energy as naturally as you or I draw breath” – to the esoteric heart of the early church, silenced by those who claimed to inherit Christ:

“The mystery of marriage is great. Without it, the world would not exist… Those who say they will die first and then rise are in error. If they do not first receive the resurrection while they live, when they die they will receive nothing.” ~ Gospel of Philip

Each point toward a human sexuality that is both far more and far less than what has saturated the modern zeitgeist.

Semen retention is a beautiful practice. But that is not what I see from its loudest communities.

Still, I am not here to throw stones.

Whatever I might say about others, I could just as easily say about myself.

The true masters have this in common: in removing the log from their own eyes, they recognize that “he who knows does not speak; he who speaks does not know.”

This is not a manifesto. It is a trace of my evolution—a path I share for those who struggled as I once did to break old ways of being and become something more.

Semen Retention as an Alpha Male Fantasy

If you’re here, I assume you are familiar with semen retention.

As a disclaimer for those brought unwitting by the whims of fate, many things I will say will sound egotistical and silly to those who have not walked this path.

And such things are.

I remember towards the end of my first year practicing semen retention, having built up quite the ego despite only middling success.

Still, I could ‘smell’ those who were ‘less than me.’

And all the other kids with the pumped-up kicks would trigger a predator response in me, which sounds absurd; especially considering what my body looked like at the time.

While this is silly, it is not abnormal. If you go to semen retention communities, you will find this experience mirrored. Even looking the practice up on YouTube, you will see such clickbait titles as:

“Why Other Men Feel Inferior When You’re on Semen Retention”
“Other Men Will Hate You on Semen Retention”
“Why Most MEN Can’t Handle the POWER of Semen Retention”
“Women Want to Impress You on Semen Retention”

I have gnosis of the so-called superpowers associated with retaining.

And these titles are projections.

When you have it, you have it. When you don’t, you’re closer to an insecure teenager with a handgun.

Meanwhile, if you peruse these communities, you will often find that the majority are stuck in spirals of shame and degradation as they look up to a false ideal of sexual mastery. One that praises repression and brute subjugation of the self as a virtue, and is often motivated out of fear.

Ironically, the real masters would point to my projection, and the laughable undercurrent of machismo that began to ferment, as a warning against the dangers of semen retention in the hands of the foolish and dogmatic.

Bruce Lee said, “When I stopped trying to be the strongest, the fastest, the best – I became free. And in that freedom, I became powerful.”

I, too, have lived by the sword.

Swords break.

“A man is born gentle and weak.
At his death he is hard and stiff.
Green plants are tender and filled with sap.
At their death they are withered and dry.
Therefore the stiff and unyielding are the disciples of death.
The gentle and yielding are the disciples of life.”
~ Tao T’Ching, Chapter 76

Force will get you somewhere, and it cannot take you all the way.

Surface-level experiences are symptoms that only grow stronger the more you wrestle with them. Letting go allows you to see the truth behind the mask.

Semen Retention as a Requirement of a Bipolar God

Few masks are as seductive as those placed on the brow of the Divine.

A second disclaimer would be prudent:

Every action has a spiritual consequence.

Karma. Sin. Maat. Dukkha. The Principle of Correspondence. These things are real. And the deepest truths lie in paradox.

I got into semen retention at the confluence of several life-altering realizations and experiences. Most notably, after learning how to astral project, I decided I wanted to commune directly with God/ess via sex magic and become a space wizard, or something.

Cause fuck you, you’re going to look at me.

This attachment, however, created an aversion that warped what was otherwise already a natural progression toward something higher in how I engaged with my sexuality. Suddenly, the most powerful energy in the human experience, second only to hunger, became charged with fear.

Fear and attachment pervert what could otherwise be an effortless rhythm.

Though I come at this from a No-Hand Path perspective (read: probably heading to hell), I still take the words of the Christ seriously: “My yoke is easy, my burden is light.”

That was not – is not – always my experience.

An easy path isn’t promised by the mortals who walk this road, not even by those who claim to follow Christ. (If the statistics on their porn habits are anything to go by.) And of course, it runs much deeper than that. Sexual immaturity has been the dominant theme of ‘patriarchal’ society. (I don’t use that word in the political sense.)

You are not Godly if your sexual desire is something your partner, or the government/culture, needs to manage for you.

A Yogi I’ve never met said, “You have to be where you’re at.”

I’m not suggesting go play tag with lady-boys in the streets of Thailand, as he did – or develop a decade-long porn addiction like I did.

And where you’re at is a gift.

There is nowhere you need to be.

Many get into semen retention for spiritual reasons.

For those who don’t, spirituality finds them.

The more I let go of chasing certain spiritual experiences, the more my fear of my own sexuality began to fade. The more I stopped framing my life as a cosmic crusade against the forces of darkness, the easier it became. Because things come easier when you are fine either way.

If guilt and shame are your companions…

Imagine how much lighter you’d feel without them. How much more solid in your vibration you’d be, even when you fall short of your ideal.

God doesn’t care what you do.

Christianity – “God is no respecter of persons.”
Daoism – “Heaven and Earth are not kind, people are as straw dogs to them.”
Buddhism – “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.”
Hermeticism – “The All is in All, and All is in the All.”

And now for the paradox.

What you do does matter. There’s a reason atheists find their way to God through practices they initially adopt for purely materialistic reasons, and why others develop delusions of grandeur. There are reasons – beyond control – that all time-tested traditions seem relatively conservative about sex.

And, the stakes aren’t as high as some think – anyone selling fear has bought something other than the truth.

“The All is in all, and all moves toward the All. What has emerged shall return, and the circle is complete.” ~ Corpus Hermeticum

“The Kingdom of the Father is spread out upon the earth and men do not see it.” ~ Gospel of Thomas

(And if you still can’t get over yourself, the Daoists say the feminine is the deeper well and somehow, despite women not being able to skip their period, it’s still the more feared and revered.)

Semen Retention as an Amplifier, Not a Cure

Money – like sex – has been said to be the root of all evil. Others have likened the former to energy… and there is little argument about the energetic nature of sex.

I say that sexual energy – like money – is neither good nor bad. It merely amplifies what is already there.

And while semen retention does allow one to cultivate an abundance of sexual energy, whether or not it leads to wisdom and virtue depends entirely on what underlies it.

Just as some use wealth to subjugate, others use it to uplift. One man may harness his sexuality as a force for healing. Another, unable to hold it, becomes ruled by it, and dangerous.

Most will be mediocre.

I was mediocre.

Because semen retention is not ‘God-mode.’

You’re either a god, or you’re not.

“The Master doesn’t try to be powerful;
Thus he is truly powerful.
The ordinary man keeps reaching for power;
Thus he never has enough.​”
~ Tao Te Ching, Chapter 38

Whatever you bring to semen retention, you leave with.

Men with no inner power praise the confidence it gives them—and yes, there’s something to that. But it doesn’t last.

You will eventually release, and when you do, you’ll be left with the same emptiness you started with. That hollowness reveals itself in the judgment many retainers cast on others.

The resentment of their own powerlessness leaks out in how they speak of women, claiming to love them, while – often publicly – blaming them.

“If only modern women weren’t whores and knew their place.”

(If your big revelation after 90 days of keeping your paws off your penis sounds so, worldly, you’ve wasted your time.)

Semen Retention didn’t give me the courage to take up space when ‘common’ men remained silent. And it didn’t make me feel worthy to take what was mine.

It didn’t make me fit.

That came separately, because no sorcery can give you the balls you don’t already have.

I retained for two years, and didn’t actually feel like a man, ironically, until after a relapse into pornography gave me the final experiences I needed to truly transform, and not just be another guy who manages to retain by living in proto-monkhood.

And let me tell you, my energy was being complemented by women (not that it matters) immediately after. I was surprised at the time, but I hadn’t yet made the connection.

On that – female attraction. In my eyes, there are three primary reasons men retain: Godhood, gains, and getting women.

I had female attention before. I had female attention after.

Sure, there are points on my cycle that I have more, sometimes to the point of “what the hell is going on.”

I have attracted women I would have never been able to attract as a porn addict…

And female attention is just like anything else. You have it, or you don’t.

If you’re still radiating that needy, bitter energy, retention won’t disguise it. It’ll just make it louder. You might get attention, sure. But you won’t know what to do with it, and worse, you’ll think you deserve it for all the wrong reasons.

This is going to sound blasphemous:

What you have, you have, and cannot be taken away. I don’t care if you release five times a day.

There is truth to the experiences shared by long-term retainers – I am one of them.

And, the degree to which you suffer from sin is all you.

Nature is cyclical. You will experience highs. You will experience lows. Everything you do drains your vitality – even that which gives life.

What are you choosing to sacrifice your god-given focus on?

What do you hope to gain?

And what are you willing to give up to get it?

Everything begins and ends with you.

Retention is not the transformation; it is a mirror. Don’t confuse ejaculation – the release of semen – as the sacrifice.

Semen Retention as an Effortless Way

Again, I will have to lead with a disclaimer as I contradict the popular dogma.

When retaining, you will have to make choices, perhaps even some willpower checks.

And generally, you should strive to take the path of least resistance.

Semen retention is often painted as a heroic battle of willpower – a test of manhood that creates titans of a chosen few who refuse to surrender. But in truth, most men aren’t surrendering – they’re running. I ran.

I changed my diet to suppress arousal. Even with lovers, I averted my gaze and kept my desire dimmed. I took pride in the sacrifices I made just to avoid being present with my own sexuality.

What I learned to call discipline was actually avoidance. My sacrifices weren’t acts of mastery; they were symptoms of fear.

Even when I was a porn addict releasing most days, it was not that I was surrendering to my urges, I was refusing to face the moment. I ran from my pain into the arms of what is essentially a drug. On it, I would compartmentalize and dissociate.

In the Ghibli film, “Howl’s Moving Castle,” the wizard Howl is bound to Calcifer, a fire demon who fuels his power – and his instability. Though Calcifer is treacherous, throughout the film it is shown that he – and by extension Howl – is more powerful when treated with kindness. It is only when Calcifer is set free – at the risk of destroying Howl – that Howl reaches his highest timeline.

When I finally ‘got’ semen retention, after years of practice, I was reminded of that final scene – Calcifer burning bright within Howl’s rebuilt castle. I felt my own Calcifer blaze at my core: unrestrained, no longer seeking release. The path of least resistance was simply Being with all of that energy, exactly as I was.

So, how does one practice semen retention in an effortless way?

By Being where you are. If retention is a struggle its because you haven’t been where you are yet.

To badly paraphrase a yogi: “God is not a dick. Sexual alchemy is an automatic process. It’s the ego that thinks there’s some trick you haven’t tried yet.”

While there are techniques that are helpful, you are the one who makes them work.

My advice after years of practicing semen retention is not to try to retain the seed. Be present when you release the seed. That is where you find the truth that can only be experienced.

And here’s where the paradox returns: you’ll have to make choices.

At any moment, ten thousand processes unfold within you, ten thousand things happen around you, and ten thousand choices stare you down. You can’t be switched on all the time.

Yes, frivolous release feels good; sometimes it even is good. That might sound like heresy to some, but it’s truth to those who’ve been present enough to notice. Not just because semen retention isn’t a neat, linear path that resets with every release, but because as long as release is viewed as “lesser,” it will continue to demand your attention.

You’re not retaining if you release every time the impulse arises and turning release into something forbidden only strengthens its hold. What you avoid owns you. What you integrate, you master.

“Banish learning, no more grief
Between Yes and No
How much difference?
Between good and evil
How much difference?
What others fear I must fear-
How pointless!”
~ Tao Te Ching, Chapter 20

Over the last year, I’ve been internalizing something simple: life should be fun and easy.

Semen retention gets easier when there’s no need – when you can fall without shame, release without judgment. That is when failure ‘builds’ muscle, rather than weakens.

When there’s no resistance, the yoke becomes light.

And when there’s no war inside you, the devil has nothing to do.

Parting Thoughts

From my own experience – moving through (internet) semen retention communities and hearing stories from women close to me – most men who attempt it, or try to elevate their sexuality, fail by their own standards.

I don’t say this to mock, I say it because it is true.

At the lower tiers – NoFap, sex addiction recovery – most relapse constantly, trapped in a spiral of shame.

Sometimes, reading those threads, I’ve wondered if they wouldn’t be better off leaning into their ‘degeneracy’ – instead of turning failure into a weapon against themselves.

I don’t know what to think of the self-proclaimed gurus.

For every one who clearly has it – whether or not I agree with their spiritual worldview – there are a dozen whose words reek of bitterness, insecurity, and petty judgment. As if their semen were a life-raft rather than a source of wisdom and power.

I know I had to take the long road. I had to get it wrong, because theory doesn’t matter until after you’ve lived it.

Though I’ve mostly kept to the Daoist perspective these last years – which has a reputation for not condemning anything and even “condoning lust” (a misunderstanding) – I still had to let go of my desire to be pure ala Judeo-Christian standards, to become pure beyond the mechanical.

I once told a woman I chose both outcomes: for us to be together forever, and for everything we built to blow up in my face. I knew letting go was the one hope we had.

And that perfectly illustrates the through-line of this entire piece. The irony of “salvation” is that you also have to choose damnation in order to have it. You have to be free to fail, free to sin. Or you will be stuck in the lower vibrations of fear and judgment.

Insofar as the devil exists, he is perfectly content with the state of religion.

Jesus said, “If those who lead you say to you, ‘See, the kingdom is in the sky,’ then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, ‘It is in the sea,’ then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you.” ~ Gospel of Thomas

I had to be a fool before scripture yielded fruit that wasn’t of the world. So I know I can’t save the ones still suffering. And if there is one other thing I would say beyond let it all go, so that you may paradoxically receive it, it’s to love yourself.

Stop trying to shame or struggle yourself into wholeness. It won’t work.

Self-hatred just reinforces the patterns you’re trying to break, what you resist, persists.

You’ll keep running in circles until you can look at your own mess and not flinch.

Everyone learns this in their own way. That’s why the best teachers speak in riddles, parables, and poems – truth can’t be handed to you. It has to be realized.

But you can love people while they figure it out. You can love yourself while you do.

When semen retention comes from these places, discipline becomes mostly unnecessary. You stop trying to act more than a man, and simply learn to Be, more.