This love that flows // Beneath my skin // Simmers into golden light // Roiling shadows // Rise to match its height.
If I’ve ever touched you- // With my tongue, // My arms, // My sweat- // I’ve hated you, too.
Continue readingPosts Tagged → Transformation
How to Love Yourself ↔ And Why You Should
The echos of my self-hatred lie etched in the faded scars that adorn my body like scrimshaw. We all have our stories and mine – while not fun to experience – was never special. And some need to see themselves in me, to listen.
I’ve been hearing the praises of self-love my entire life.
In my suffering, I couldn’t help but notice that its greatest missionaries in my life had it the least. In them, self-love often looked like narcissism and self-indulgence. No amount of fake smiles or filters could hide the hunger for external validation. Many were just as self-destructive as I was.
I remember telling a therapist, “I can’t love myself, I’ll turn out like them!”
We see ourselves reflected in others.
I wonder what I would see if I could go back in time?
Continue readingEffortless Alchemy – Law of Polarity
I have been using my understanding of the Principle of Polarity religiously since I discovered it.
The story is not important; suffice it to say I discovered the Principle in a time of supreme heartache and stress and I absolutely refused to process it like a human being.
I refuse to feel my feelings, and I resent the implication that I need to!
Continue readingAll Is Mind
lightning cascades // from the eternal anvil // let your stories die // ride the wave // with all your Being
Continue readingEffortless Alchemy – Quitting Pornography
There’s a common narrative – a fantasy even – shared by many of those who set forth to put pornography behind them. It’s a struggle.
Man defying the Beast, often with little more than clenched fists.
Porn is not an addiction known for its high rates of long-term recovery, and what if the answer isn’t to fight harder?
Continue readingA Prayer on Her Behalf
Athena blooms // In a mushroom cloud // An ascendant star
Continue readingSo Below
How can THAT which cherishes // The Ten Thousand Things, Be // No respecter of persons?
Continue readingHow I Cured My Major Depressive Disorder
Mental illness is a phantom.
A phantom conjured by ceding your power, and living out of integrity with your body and soul.
And, I remember how those words would have landed when I was kneeling in the abyss with the taste of iron in my mouth.
My younger self never expected – nor wanted – to live past thirty.
It looks like I did, and not for lack of trying.
From the ages of 13 to 28 I killed myself every day with my thoughts and addictions… with knives wielded in the spirit of hatred upon my flesh.
Eventually, I was no longer satisfied by the petty, and I carved myself with finality.
I survived.
In the shame-filled twilight that followed I made a decision.
I’m not living like this anymore.
I don’t.
And no one needs to.
Continue readingBurn Like Water
Be like water.
Do, or do not.
It’s been said a thousand ways by a thousand faces; from Yoda to Pooh, and Jesus too. If there is a mystic who didn’t… he (or she) probably isn’t.
For many years I’ve lived with that verse of the Tao t’Ching as a guiding constellation and held it before me as a shield against those who thought I was taking poor care of myself.
Emulating water has gifted me a life that was unimaginable to the version of me that took a knife to his own throat. These extra years have been filled with miraculous impossibility, adventure, and epic romance.
On the flip side, it has encouraged passivity, a seeming(?) lack of ambition, a certain level of self-ignorance, and what I’ve been told is called “spiritual bypassing.”
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